I Can't

These two little words seem to be used frequently by me.  Several months ago, a good friend of mine pointed this out to me when I said I cant, etc etc etc.  She looked at me and said, "well, actually you can.  You just don't want to!"  OUCH

But as I've pondered that, I realized how true that statement is and I've made strong effort to take those words out of my vocabulary.  Sadly, I've found them creeping back in as of late, particularly this week.

You see on Monday I started P90X and wow, did it kick my butt!  Yesterday was by far the hardest day and I realized that I have never felt like that before when I worked out.  My face was beet red, sweat was dripping, and I felt like I was going to pass out.  I was literally light-headed and even thought I might throw up.  I found myself saying, "I can't" over and over.  I wasn't able to do half of the workout.  Last night, as I was sitting in HJ, I was reminded of that and realized that quite possibly by telling myself I couldn't do something I had in fact failed at completing the workout.

This morning I decided I was going to be more positive and let me tell you, it went much better.  Even though I still wasn't able to do all of today's workout, I at least tried and did what I could.  I'm realizing that while I started this journey because I wanted to be healthier (and to wear smaller pants), I think that God has something else in mind.  I get the feeling that this about so much more than weight loss and getting healthy - there's a lesson in here somewhere that God is trying and going to teach me.  So while I don't look forward to getting up early, and my body is sort of hurting right now, I am looking forward to is getting to the end of this cycle and seeing what God taught me over the course of this 90 days.  So as Tony Horton says at the beginning of each DVD "Bring it!!"