Life Lessons from a Hat????

I have a friend named Emily who knits.  Not only does she knit but she's amazing at it...you should see the things she's made.  So this fall I asked her if she would be willing to teach me.  She said yes without hesitation even though she'd never taught anyone before.  So began the journey of teaching me to knit and I must say we've had our share of laughs.  Once I got the hang of it, and believe me it took a while, I'd like to think that I took off and I've made some very nice hats and scarves for my family. 

Around Thanksgiving my sister said she wanted a hat so we took a trip to Michael's to pick out the yarn.  So begins the saga of what I refer to as the "hat from hell".  By all standards it should have been a super easy hat to make - no fancy stitches or anything.  Well, let me just tell you that it's not.  I've started this hat 4 times (yes, that means I've pulled it out and started over completely) and visited Emily at least twice to have her fix my mistakes.  I mean seriously, no hat should be that hard to make!  Tonight I went to see Emily again and after some discussion, we decided that maybe the best thing to do was to scrap it because neither one of us could figure out what the problem is/was.

As I was leaving, we were joking about it and she asked me if I was really going to scrap it.  I said yes, but I think I'll start from the other end of the skein and just use a different pattern because my sister still wants a hat and I don't want to waste the yarn.  In the moment, I was struck with an analogy about life, my life in particular.

You see a lot of people in my life are experiencing major changes (new jobs, lost jobs, big moves, seeking direction for life), including myself and we all seem to struggle in that.  Well even though it seems as though this is the "hat from hell", if you flip it over and start from the other end, you can take the mess and turn it into something beautiful.  In that moment I realized that God can do that for all of us.  Even though it seems like one giant mess that would be easier to just scrap and start fresh, God can pull that one good thread out of it and take it and knit it into something pretty spectacular!  I guess I can't call it the "hat from hell" anymore especially since I just had a major revelation.  So whoever the lady was who came up with that ridiculous pattern....thank you!  Because of you, I was reminded of a valuable life lesson!

When You Least Expect It

Today was one of those days that snuck up on me and surprised me.  I was reminded again that just when you least expect it, God can bring little surprises into your life.  I had a jewelry party at my house tonight and typically I invite all my close friends and then the people who are on the fringe.  You know the ones I'm talking about?  The ones who you sort of know or used to know but just aren't that close to now.  Well, those are the people who showed up.  Now don't get me wrong - I really like all these people but I'm just not close to them.  I had several really great conversations and think a new friendship may have been formed as well tonight which I wasn't expecting.

After they left, I got to talk to a friend who I've never been particularly close to but has always been kind of on the fringe.  Recently however, I've spent more and more time talking to him and have realized how good of a friend he really has become, which I would never have expected! 

As I'm writing this post I'm beginning to realize that sometimes the people you least expect are the ones that God can use more powerfully than the ones who are always there.  I'm not sure why or how that even works but I do know today that I'm thankful for it.  I was truly blessed and encouraged by all the people I got to interact with tonight...oh and I got to try on some really amazing jewelry as well.  That's what I call a good night!

Adoration

I spent all weekend with my family and this morning in church, I was given a glimpse of hope by my 3 yr old niece.  Her name is Lauren and she's darling.. I mean how could you not love this face?

Lauren loves me and wants to be wherever I am, which is quite endearing to me.  My sister often jokes about Lauren being my kid and not hers since she will often pick me over her own mother.  So of course, today at church Lauren wanted to hang out with Aunt Angie.  Well, we hung out between services in the Cafe and then when the next service started, we stayed and hung out some more.  She kept begging to go in to hear the music so when they started worship, of course, we went in....how could I say no?  We started singing and Lauren began clapping her hands.  The name of the song escapes me but there was a line about that went "I found a love greater than life itself, I found a hope stronger and nothing else...."  I get emotional when I hear that song and today wasn't any different.  But it really hit me when little Miss Lauren raised her hands as well.  I got a little choked up because I saw the look of joy on her face and I realized that I'd been missing that for quite some time.  I realized that I wanted to be like Lauren - I wanted to be able to raise my hands and have absolute joy in doing so.  I'm not sure that Lauren really understood but it doesn't matter cause I know that Jesus does.

As I thought about that this afternoon, I realized that He used Lauren to bring me hope - hope that I will return to that place of joy and just live in the moment and not worry about tomorrow.  I always knew that she was special but after today I know she holds an even bigger place in my heart!

My sister

So my sister is sitting next to me on the couch conquering a level of Angry Birds that I can't seem to get past!  I've been sitting here trying to come up with something to blog about and she said you need to blog about me!  I said are you serious? And she said well, I wrote about Boogers, Beavers, Bicycles, & Bears yesterday so you should write about me!  I said ok, you asked for it.

My sister is one of those people that you never have to wonder what she's thinking or how she's feeling.  Even as a child she was that way.  I'll never forget one night at dinner when Tanya showed a new side of her personality to us.  My mom had a job working at one of the local restaurants and she worked with this woman named Katie.  My mom spent a lot of time complaining about her and we were tired of hearing about her.  I was in high school and Tanya was probably about 10-11 at that time.  So we're having dinner and my mom starts her daily tirade and suddenly Tanya gets up, throws her hands in the air and yells, "Katie, Katie, Katie, that's all I ever hear!"  She runs into the living room throws herself on the loveseat, throws her arm up over her head, and says, "Therapy, therapy, I need therapy!"  We were speechless...where did that come from?  Needless to say, we burst out laughing and haven't really stopped laughing at her since.  Oh, and my mom didn't really talk about Katie after that....so in hindsight, Tanya thank you!

I hate to admit it but she's one of the funnier people I know...sometimes you just wonder where she comes up with this stuff...she's her very own special but I love her dearly!  In closing, I'm posting a picture so you can draw your own conclusions!

Seriously though, I love my sister and while this blog may not seem like it has to do with hope it does.  I'll tell you why.  I hope to be able to be as open about how I feel and to be able to express my emotions the way she does.  She lives her life all or nothing and I hope to be able to do that some day!

Who Knew?

I've been meeting with JB since early November on Wednesday night in a discipleship group.  We're going through this book

We usually start off by catching up on life and then we move through the lesson.  Typically, we have a lot of life dispersed throughout.  Its been really great and while the book hasn't taught us anything earth-shattering, it's brought a lot of reminders and new ways of looking at old truths.  At the beginning of the year, MH joined us and she's been a welcome addition.  This week's lesson was on the fruits of the Spirit.  It was interesting because we all knew about the fruits of the Spirit, but the author broke them down individually in a way that none of us had really considered before.  One of the questions was which one of the fruits do you need God's grace for growth.  I need joy!  Clearly, that much is obvious based on where I am right now but the author described it in a way that I'd never considered before.

This is part of the description that hit me hard: Joy transcends circumstances.  We often confuse happiness and joy.  Happiness has to do with "everything going my way" whereas joy can coexist with suffering and grief.  Joy is stable because it is rooted in hope."  I have never considered this before and I'm really not sure what I feel yet because I'm still processing it but I know that it did give me hope that I will make it through this.  I need to stop focusing on me and start looking outward again instead of inward.

As I was sharing this with the girls, I just opened up and told them exactly how I was feeling, etc.  I apologized cause I felt like I was making it all about me.  These 2 looked at me and assured me that while I wasn't doing that, even if I had been that's why we had this group....not just to learn but also to be able to share honestly about what's happening without fear of judgment.  Wow, did I need to hear that!  I'm so blessed to be able to meet with these girls each week and I'm excited about the friendship we are building and where that is going to go.

I'm not magically healed and filled with joy again but I feel like I have hope again.  Hope that I will walk this out and when I get to the other side, I'll be able to look back and see where I grew even though it doesn't feel like that right now.  So MH & JB, thank you for allowing me to share my heart and for letting it be all about me tonight!

Guilty Pleasure

So it's been a few days since I've blogged and I have to say that I feel as though I don't really have much to blog about this week.  It was an ok week but nothing major has happened!

I was trying to think of something to blog about so I decided to share one of my guilty pleasure secrets!  I indulged it in for lunch today.  First some history - when I was in Youth With a Mission (YWAM) I spent an entire summer on a mobile team that went to all the summer music festivals.  We did PR for YWAM Denver and because of that we were on a limited budget.  We ate a lot of boxed meals and things from cans.  I sort of discovered that I secretly loved Chef Boyardee Ravioli!   I know it's kind of gross and not really very good for you but every now and then I like to eat it.  But only once or twice a year.

There you go - my deep dark secret!  Don't judge me! ha  So what are your guilty pleasures?

Ch-ch-changes

There's been a lot of change happening in my life lately.  Changing jobs after 9 years was the biggest change, but there have been a number of people who have moved in and out of my life as well.  It seems like right now there are more people moving out then there are moving in.
It really hit me this weekend when I was texting my sister and she was telling me all about the house they'd found in Peoria....2 hours away.  And then again as I was reading my friend Adam's latest updates about the interview process he was going through in preparation to move as well.  And listening to a friend talk about how her parents were selling their house and preparing to build a new one!  Yesterday I went back to church for the first time since leaving my job and it was weird...everything was different!  Last night we went and hung out with Carrie, who's leaving at the end of the week as well.  It just seems like everything is changing and frankly, I don't like it.

As I've been thinking about all of these things, I realized why its so hard for me.  Because usually I'm the one moving away or making the big changes.  For what feels like the first time in my life, I'm the one being left behind!  I mean I'm thrilled for everyone and all the things that they feel they're being called to but at the same time, I'm jealous!  Yep I admitted it - I'm jealous because I don't know what the future holds for me.  I thought I had a sense of what that was but it somehow got derailed so now it's back to square one.  So what do I do now?

I'm praying for hope for my future and one thing I know for certain....Jenna and I will be taking a lot of road trips to Peoria over the next few months!  Tanya, you better get my room ready!

Can I help you ma'm...oops I mean sir?

I've been working at Loft since about mid-September or October now.  I really enjoy my job and the people I work with are great!  We've had some interesting clients come in but tonight took the cake.

It was quite slow and Shelbi (my manager) was in the back doing some paperwork so I was on the floor by myself.  I was straightening and I noticed a woman walk in on the other end of the store.  I didn't really pay much attention but thought hmm she looks a bit rough...must have had a hard day!  She went to the sale section and grabbed a skirt and sort of stalked to the middle of the store.  I thought she was going into the fitting room but she sort of just stalked around in the middle of the store.

By this time, I was asking myself if she was wearing a wig?  She kept looking around and I asked her if she needed some help.  She said no, I'm ready to check out!  When I walked around the counter, I got my first good look at her!  To my shock, she was a he!  Yep, I took care of my first transvestite tonight!  I have to say she  he had better makeup then I did!  I was a little upset about that but hey, I guess you can't win them all!  And as for the hair, definitely a wig!  Made the night a little more interesting!!!

Where you least expect it

I've spent the past few days looking around at the little things, trying to figure it out what it is that gives me hope today (or yesterday, etc.).  I know I said I wanted to post pics as much as I could but the thing that is giving me hope right now is too large to post pictures of.  Its my friends.

The past 2 days I've spent time with some of the people I love most.  Wednesday night I had the opportunity to go to do with the the one and only PSL!  Let me tell you - I love this woman!  After talking to her, somehow the world felt right again.  I never feel judged and I feel as though I can share my heart and be honest about where I am.  And let's be honest, where I am hasn't been good.  She calmly looked at me and said, "It's ok but you  know you can't stay there very long!"  She's right, I can't!  So I've been trying to take to heart what she's said and look at my life with thanksgiving instead of anger!  Not sure I'm there yet but I'm trying.

Last night (Thursday) I got to have dinner with my friend Emily & her husband.  It was nice to see them again because it's been a few weeks.  She's also the friend who's taught me how to knit.  Its been a lot of fun spending a few hours at a time with her learning new things but mostly she fixes my mistakes!  Maybe I'll post a picture of the hat from hell...I've started this hat 4x and am still not finished with it - thank God for Emily because she was able to salvage it!  Jenna came by as well so we had a good time chatting, watching TV and giving William a hard time.

As I was processing through the last couple of days, I realized friends are what give me hope.  They are the ones that lift me up when I'm feeling down, that love me in spite of myself, and share all the joys and pain with me.  They are the ones that make it worth pushing through the hard times.  So to all my friends, thanks for being there and for giving me hope!

A Blog is Born

I know that I sort of made reference to why I decided to write a blog in my first post but I wanted to elaborate as well as share with you how I came up with the name (and no, it's not because I love Sandra Bullock!)

A few years ago, life took a rough turn and I was pretty discouraged.  Someone I barely knew prayed for me and she prayed that I would have hope.  Hmm interesting.  I didn't really think about it but from that moment on, every time someone prayed with me, the word hope came up.  Maybe God was trying to tell me something???  During that time, Psalm 62:5 became one of my favorite verses and still is to this day!


It's now 3 years later and that word still gets prayed over me.  I have a dear friend who has made it her mission in life to keep me supplied with amazing Christmas ornaments with the word HOPE on them!  She's also given me several other gifts that say HOPE on them.  Its become a part of who I am....so much so that I'm planning on getting a tattoo based around that word.

As I mentioned in the first post, life had gotten really hard over the last 6 months and I felt myself being dragged down by it, becoming super-negative and not joyous anymore.  Life didn't seem fun.  I don't want to wake up a year from now and be miserable so I decided to take stock of the little things and start paying attention to the things around me, the things that make a difference or are a part of my every day life.  When I decided to start a blog, I knew the word hope had to be involved to some degree.  I decided on Hope Floats because I feel as though hope is once again floating back into my life.  I'm not fully there yet cause I'm still trying to get through the tough stuff, but I know its up ahead and I'm excited to find it.  I'm hoping that some of it will float into your life as well as you read my blog! 

Water is my friend

I started a new job a little over a month ago!  I like my job so far but there is one thing I didn't take into consider when I took this job.  McDonald's is literally next door and for those of you who know me well, you know what a problem that is for me!  You see, I have a major Diet Coke addiction and now I work next to the best Diet Coke a girl can get!  Hmmm, now do you see my dilemna?

So what's a addict girl to do?  My friend Laura had this really cool cup with its own lid and straw so I made it my mission to find one like it!  I even found it in my 2nd favorite color - purple!  We have a water cooler right outside my door so I brought my new cup to work with me and so far I've done really well with drinking water instead of Diet Coke!  The down side to that is now I have to go to the bathroom all the time.  However, I  know that I shall reap the benefits of making good choices. 

I'm adding a picture of my beloved new cup which I'm sure will become an important part of my everyday life!

Welcome to My Blog

The past few years have been really difficult, in particular the last 6-9 months.  I've found myself letting the drama of every day life get me down and dictating how I respond to others and situations.  I've decided that its time for me to stop allowing things and people to dictate my joy or lack thereof.  I want to look at my life and find something each day that means something specific to me or meaningful to me in some way. 

Now ideally that would mean I blog every day but lets be honest....that probably won't happen and then I'd be depressed because I failed on my resolution.  Oh did I mention this was one of my resolutions? I have a friend who does a great job of blogging and she said to me, "well you realize this means you have to keep up with it?"  I laughed and said of course so here goes.

The other day I was with my sister and wanted a snack....so she suggested french fries from McDonald's.  When we got them, they were fresh & perfectly salted and with an ice cold Diet Coke...well how could you go wrong?  I realized then that sometimes it's the little things in life that make a difference.  This was the thing that gave me the most joy that day.